jaide-rhiannon. people ask 'whats wrong', and think i dont trust them or that i dont want to talk to them when i answer, ' i dont know'. but the truth is, is that i really just dont fucking know. nothing really is 'wrong'. but nothing is right either. this emptiness never goes away.. im trapped inside my own mind and it haunts me everyday. even when im 'happy' im just sad, infact its been so long since ive truely been happy, i struggle to remember what it even feels like. im tired of crying so hard my stomach hurts.. so much no more tears come out. im tired of never being able to sleep. im tired of feeling so lonely, but only wanting to be alone. im tired of being sad. im tired of missing people. im tired of feeling worthless. im tired of despising my reflection. im tired of needing help. im tired of being so vulnerable. im tired of feeling so weak.. so heavy. im tired of pretending. im tired of hating myself.im tired of remembering. im tired of being angry. im tired of feeling crazy. im tired of this numbness.im tired of feeling hopeless. im tired of putting on a brave front. im tired of being tired and of feeling like this all day every fucking day. maybe it never gets better, maybe we just learn to cope with everything better so it becomes easier to deal with. but nothing ever changes, it gets easier, but not better. home ask me archive themes |
